Biblically Navigating Same-Sex Marriage with your Children

“Beginning with the Supreme Court’s ban on non-denominational school prayer in 1962, the same-sex marriage decision has essentially completed the state’s secularization of American society. This is one thing about which both right and left, religious and secular, can agree. One side may rejoice over the fact, and the other may weep, but it is a fact.”[1]

As parents concerned with cultivating a biblical worldview in the next generation, our response to recent cultural and legislative inclusion and integration of same-sex unions as normative is crucial. Our response not only consists of words to our children on the subject in private but also our demonstrated application of the gospel in our circles of influence in the world. How does a disciple of Jesus respond? Here are my thoughts:

The Bible is clear on God’s design for marriage.

There is absolute clarity in the Scriptures. The concept of one man and one woman for a lifetime is foundational in Genesis 2:20-25 as God creates woman to be with man. This design is repeated in Paul’s New Testament letter to the church at Ephesus when he gives guidance on biblical marriage for disciples of Jesus in a cultural that is free and inclusive so to speak. “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.” (Eph. 5:31). Since marriage is God’s design, any other design but His, is actually not marriage at all. As parents we have a responsibility to teach the biblical design for marriage at home.

Since the Law of the land no longer reflects the biblical view of marriage, how should disciples of Jesus live as the culture becomes more relative and farther from God?

Peter addresses this issue as he writes to a people who are suffering varying forms of persecution because of their faith in God. “For this is the will of God, that by doing good you should put to silence the ignorance of foolish people. Live as people who are free, not using your freedom as a cover up for evil, but living as servants of God. Honor everyone. Love the brotherhood. Fear God. Honor the emperor.” (1 Peter 2:15-17) As parents it is imperative that we learn to uphold the biblical truth in love in our new cultural context. In short we must teach our children the truth about marriage, God’s view on sexual sin, and how to live in a culture that disagrees with the biblical worldview. It may seem counter-intuitive but teaching our kids to honor people while being adamantly opposed to their life-style is necessary for the propagation of the gospel in the next generation. Jesus said it this way to his band of disciples who would change the world in the face of cultural opposition, “You are the light of the world. A city on a hill cannot be hidden. Nor do people light a lamp and put it under a basket, but on a stand, and it gives light to all in the house. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven.” (Matt. 5:14-16) The best way to equip your children to be light in a dark culture by upholding truth in love is to model this way of living for your children. When everything is dark, people of light provide gospel hope and salvation through Christ.

Five things every parent should do to influence the legacy of a changing America.

• Be true to God’s design for marriage in your home. Issues like divorce and heterosexual adultery are as damaging and destructive as same-sex marriage.
• Recognize, reject, and repent of all forms of sexual sin in your own life and marriage. (Hebrews 13:4)
• Be willing to articulate a biblical worldview related to marriage at home and in your everyday circles of influence but do it with gentleness and respect. (1 Peter 3:15)
• As a disciple of Jesus, learn the art of loving your neighbor as yourself. Likely, your neighbors will have a different viewpoint than you in the days ahead. Let your children see you love them enough to connect with them, pray for them, serve them, and share the gospel with them. (Matthew 22:36-40)
• Reject the temptation to fear man. Instead, fear God. (1 Samuel 12:24 and 1 Peter 2:15-17)

It is a new day in the United States for sure. Rest assured, the sky is not falling and the King is not surprised or defeated. You and I and our households are now called to be on mission in a new day. Don’t isolate or hurl stones. Instead love God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength. Love you neighbor as yourself. Teach your children to do the same.

[1] “The Formal End to Judeo-Christian America”, Dennis Prager, Jewishworldreview.com, June 30, 2015